احلى ستاتوسات انجليزية مجنونة ومضحكة روعه – الجوكر الوحيد

-Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.

-Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.

-Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

-Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.

-Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

-The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I’m way worse…

-I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂

-I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

-Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

-Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful.

-I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

-Being stupid is its own reward.

-A wise man once said, You can’t be old and wise, if you were never young and crazy.

-I think I got a fever, a fever of you 🙂

-I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!

-Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

-I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

-In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

-Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.

-My back is not a voicemail, say it to my face.

-Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

-It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.

-Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

-If a thoughtless thought is thought, would a thought thoughtlessly think of thoughtless thoughts whenever thinking thoughts are thoughtless? What a thought, eh?

-Wonders if its bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening…

-One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂

ستاتوسات جنون روعه بالانجليزية جديدة للفيس بوك والانستقرام

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
• Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
• When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
• I gotta go to work today because millions of people on welfare depend on me.
• We become what we think about.
• You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you. Make your appointment today.
• Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛
• Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.
• You must be a certified helmet wearing window licker to ride the sunshine bus..
• Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
• How come wrong numbers are never busy?
• OH MY GOD, The rain’s wet..
• I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. – Jack Handey
• Shhhhhhhh everyone around me is in a relationship and I am just here with my laptop and this page.
• A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
• My head is telling my heart “I told you so!”.
• There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life. – Doug Stanhope
• Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• Laziness Is The Mother Of All Bad Habits But Ultimately She Is A Mother And We Should Respect Her.
• I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. :p
• I can handle pain until it hurts.
• Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.