عبارات بالانجليزي عن الجنون ومضحكة +360 عبارة مجنونة بالانجليزية جديدة – الجوكر الوحيد
اجمل عبارات بالانجليزية جديدة عن الجنون و مضحكة , عبارات مجنونة بالانجليزي
ستاتي عن الجنون بالانجليزي مضحك و رائع جدا 2020 ستاتس مجنون بالانجليزية
- People who wait 4 hours to reply to a text with “lol” should be shooted 🙂
- Dear Sleep! I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger! But NOW I Lubbb you 😀
- I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won 🙂
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- We are all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.
- In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- If there’s one thing I hate the most, its seeing bad things happen to good people.
- I know I’m crazy. Don’t ruin my moment.
- When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians.
- Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
- Never apologize for being you.
- Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
- No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
- I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
- I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
- It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
Best 50 Crazy Whatsapp quotes To Make Everybody Laugh, quotes in english for facebook and instagram
- Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
- I’m batter than you Ex and better then your NEXT!
- My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
- Totally available!! Please disturb me!!
- C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂
- I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday 🙂
- Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 😀
- Some people have relationships and some people have patiyala.
- Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
- My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.
- Warning, do you think its right time to talk to me?
- Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
- Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.
- If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives.
- If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror 😀
- I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
- If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
- At least I can still smoke in my car.
- Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
- I’ll be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.
- HEY YOU, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?
- Money can’t buy LOVE but can buy WOMAN to make LOVE
- When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always!
- The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me 🙂
- I don’t talk to myself, i talk to the little voices in my head that tell me to do evil cruel things to people and that’s the reason why i smile all the time..
- Quiet people have the loudest minds.
- I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
- Being single doesn’t mean you don’t know anything about love, it just means you know enough to wait for it.
- If I drink alcohol, I am an alcoholic. But if I drink fanta than . . . . . . I am fantastic!
- Hey there whatsapp is using me.
- Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
- When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy.
- Life is too short smile while you still have teeth.
- 6 Peg Loading .. 😀
- If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become Sunny Deol 😛 😀 😛 😀
- Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
- Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.
- I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.
- If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
- I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
- I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. – Sam Kinison
- I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi 🙂
- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
- It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen
- A lot of men and women would rather stay single b’coz they are tired of giving their everything and ending up with nothing.
- You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..
- Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
- Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.
- People change, things change, time changes, priorities change, but expectations always remain the same..
ستاتي شرات ومعاني مجنونة بالانجليزية روعه و مضحكة 2021
عبارات واتس اب و فيس بوك عن الجنون بالانجليزي 2020
- Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..
- When I get a text from you, I immediately stop whatever I’m doing to read it.
- I am so cool, my selfie is called a kulfi!
- If you were to die tomorrow would you be happy with today?
- Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say. 😀
- Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Last seen 1980! 😀
- Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
- People say nothing’s impossible, but I do nothing everyday.
- Love never dies…only the lover changes. 😛
- Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA and INTERVIEW.
- Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!
- If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
- My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
مقولات انجليزية عن الجنون روعه جديدة مكتوبة للنسخ و النشر 2021
- I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am i that hot?
- Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat 🙂
- Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
- In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!
- Sometimes its better to bunk the class instead of attending it Cause today wen I look back, my marks never make me laugh but memories d…
- Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
- I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
- Babies are so lucky. They can sleep all day still everyone loves them.
- I hate when ex’s say… “I am here if you need me.” like….? where were you? when we were together and I needed you?
- I don’t care if you think I’m crazy. Life is too short to be normal.
- 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.
- Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
- Arrange marriage these days is the agreement between two broken hearts.
- Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
- We all have that one person we hate but constantly look at their facebook profile.
- TODAY has been cancelled. Go back to BED 🙂
- When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
- I’m a good boy with bad habits 😛
- I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
- If Your age was to be determined by the 2 last digits of your phone number, how old wil you be?
- I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
- Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
- Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
- Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
احدث حالات واتس اب انجليزية عن الجنون روعه ومميزة 2020
- We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
- Nothing is illegal until you get caught 🙂
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. 🙂
- I know that you know that I know what you know and you know what they know so I know what you know they know, you know?
- I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!
- We live in WTF generation – Wikipedia, twitter, facebook
- I was talking to myself last night and we both agreed that you’re crazy..
- Money is made of paper, paper is made of wood, and wood is made from trees. Therefore, money does grow on trees.
- Sometimes I wonder how many miles I have scrolled my mouse wheel.
- Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tigr in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
- Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy
- People never remember the million times you help them, only the one time you don’t.
- I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shit.
- Some people should try thinking, it’s not illegal yet
- You remind me of my Chinese friend… Ug Lee
- Flip a coin… If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine. 🙂
- Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? 🙂
- It doesn’t matter what people say about you. It matters what you’re going to do to them after they say it!
- I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂
- My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death!
- Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY 🙂
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it
- I wish I could record my dreams and watch them later.
- I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time … … … lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
اجمل 50 اقتباس عن الجنون بالانجليزي 2021
1-I cannot tell you how grateful I am, I am filled with humidity.
2-For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. 🙂
3-Boys think of girls just ike books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eye, they won’t bother to read what’s inside.
4-I hate when I am about to hug someone really s3xy and my face hits the mirror.
5-Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.
6-Relationships would be easier if people came with a CLEAR HISTORY button.
7-I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
8-After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.
9-Gravity always gets me down. 🙂
10-You can never really say what’s on your mind, when your family is on Facebook.
11-The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂
12-If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
13-I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. 😀
14-What i if told you…you the read first line wrong… same with the second… :p
15-My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
16-I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂
17-Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them 🙂
18-When I see you, I miss your smile. When I see your smile, I miss your hug. When you hug me, I want your kiss …… Oh I’m just so crazy about you.
19-Its Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
20-Dear mom and dad, when I lie to you, it’s for your own good. 😛
21-Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken.
22-Press “like” if you are crazy.
23-Its crazy how much you let someone hurt you without realizing it.
24-At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
25-Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
26-If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
27-I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂
28-I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.
29-GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
30-Every time I drink I get awesome 🙂
31-Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.
32-Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.
33-The awkward moment when you enter class late and everyone stares at you.
34-I’m a Teenager: I have a messy room. I spend most of my time online. I have private shit on my phone. I go to bed late do whatever the fuck I like and I’m crazy about 1 person.
35-The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.
بوستات فيس بوك مضحكة بالانجليزي عن الجنون جامدة جدا للنسخ 2020
- I speak two languages, Body and English.
- They don’t know that we know they know we know.
- You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.
- Don’t think too much, you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.
- Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
- How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
- I’m not crazy, I’m just special.
- I’ve been thinking. I know, it scares me too..
- Being someones FIRST may be great but being LAST is perfect…
- It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that. – Mitch Hedberg
- If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
- I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz
- She loves me or not but I love her a lot. 😛
- Am i the only one who gets this random urge to help old ladies half way across the street and leave them there?
اقتباسات بالانجليزية مضحكة جدا و مجنونة جديدة مكتوبة للنسخ for facebook and twitter & pinterest and tumblr & linkedin and telegram
-Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.
-Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.
-Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
-Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
-Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
-The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I’m way worse…
-I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
-I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
-Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
-Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful.
-I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
-Being stupid is its own reward.
-A wise man once said, You can’t be old and wise, if you were never young and crazy.
-I think I got a fever, a fever of you 🙂
-I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!
-Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
-I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
-In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
-Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
-My back is not a voicemail, say it to my face.
-Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
-It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
-Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
-If a thoughtless thought is thought, would a thought thoughtlessly think of thoughtless thoughts whenever thinking thoughts are thoughtless? What a thought, eh?
-Wonders if its bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening…
-One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
حالات واتس اب بالانجليزية عن الجنون و مضحكة جدا
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
- Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
- I gotta go to work today because millions of people on welfare depend on me.
- We become what we think about.
- You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you. Make your appointment today.
- Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛
- Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.
- You must be a certified helmet wearing window licker to ride the sunshine bus..
- Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
- How come wrong numbers are never busy?
- OH MY GOD, The rain’s wet..
- I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. – Jack Handey
- Shhhhhhhh everyone around me is in a relationship and I am just here with my laptop and this page.
- A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
- My head is telling my heart “I told you so!”.
- There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life. – Doug Stanhope
- Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Laziness Is The Mother Of All Bad Habits But Ultimately She Is A Mother And We Should Respect Her.
- I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. :p
- I can handle pain until it hurts.
- Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
ستاتوسات ضحك مجنونة بالانجليزية روعه للواتس اب 2021
ستاتيات انجليزية مجنونة روعه مكتوبة للفيس بوك والانستقرام 2020
- I smile and act like nothing is wrong, its called putting shit aside and being strong.
- Do you ever look at your friends and think “why the hell aren’t we comedians?”
- Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
- Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
- My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the.
- If you don’t care stop talking about it.
- God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 😛
- Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
- Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.
- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂
- Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.